Thursday, April 10, 2008

Signs of the Apocalypse?

When I used to have a subscription to Sports Illustrated I would anxiously open it upon arrival to read the sign of the apocalypse for the week. I miss those days before the internet ruled my news sources and sarcasm had to be hunted down. Fortunately, sarcasm and irony are just clicks away now! I found some doozies on of my old favorite:

“Shawn King, a former NFL defensive lineman, says he failed a league drug test because the woman whose urine he had used to help hide his marijuana use turned out to be pregnant.”

“Instead of an athlete boycotting the media, nine writers covering the Oakland Raiders decided to boycott talking to veteran defensive end Warren Sapp.”

“Reebok recalled 140,000 pairs of its Allen Iverson toddler shoes because the peelable logo tag on the tongue of each shoe was a potential choking hazard”

“Kevin Millar said that before his Red Sox beat the Yanks in Game 7 of the ALCS, the team did shots of Jack Daniel's whiskey.”

Ah, yes those were the days…

The thing that got me thinking about this old column was a commercial on the NFL Network. The spot shows coaches like Jon Gruden, Tony Dungy, and many more hyping up an upcoming show…the show where they announce the regular season schedule…

Maybe I’m just becoming really cynical, but have we totally gone nuts? Now don’t get me wrong, I love the NFL. I absolutely exist on this planet to watch NFL football. It has been my life’s obsession. I even dreamed of being a QB when I was a child…

(Speaking of childhood dreams…the Harlem Globetrotters are on television right now…am I in a time warp…Twilight Zone music playing)

At any rate, how is it that we are now so obsessed that there is hype leading up to the schedule release? Does anyone else notice the absurdity here? In fact, when I was on looking something up, I found this page that tells you who the opponents are for each team - but without dates. Ooh, buildup.

In other signs of the apocalypse – on the Steve Mason show yesterday another head-scratcher surfaced. Fred Roggin and Steve were covering the fact that David Beckham got a traffic ticket on Fairfax for making an illegal turn or something minor like that. As they were covering it, they really seemed to be in on the absurdity of the whole thing. Apparently, the soccer star was very pleasant and respectful to the law and went on his way afterward. I am going to be very sad if sports coverage becomes what celebrity coverage is - where we are subjected to their every move. I actually don’t really care if Mr. Beckham got a ticket, where he shops, or if he eats sushi. Sports news to me is the story where he actually scored his first goal for the Los Angeles Galaxy on opening day last week. If must have been a slow day…

One other oddity…so what if Tiger Woods missed the Par 3 Contest yesterday? It is really amusing how the players all try to lose due to superstition, but really…was it a slow sports news day that such a big deal was made about Tiger’s decision to forgo the fun?

Am I just becoming exceptionally jaded?


George said...

why does everyone forget that beckham scored his first goal LAST year off a free kick?


Lindsay said...

I love that quote about the whiskey. I hope it is true. So, did you ever play on the boys' football team?

Matt said...

I love the "Signs of the Apocalypse." One of my favorite parts of SI.

(I actually named my blog after the SI section -

Keep up the great work Apryl!


Apryl DeLancey said...

@George - because he has done so little for us that we seem to seemed odd when they reported that...thanks for the correction!

@Lindsay - I did play with the 6th grade boys for a season when I was in the 5th grade as a receiver/corner!

@Matt - very cool! Thanks for the kind words and stop by again!