Friday, March 21, 2008

How to Make Your Spouse Stop Nagging About Sports



…or at least leave you alone while you watch the game!

Alright, there is more than one way to get your non-sports-loving partner to lighten up and at least tolerate your obsession with March Madness, NFL Football, Soccer, or whatever your passion is. I even once dated a guy that would rather watch a romantic comedy than sports so I know where you’re coming from. Sure, he was fine if I took him to a game but watching it on television was a whole other battle. Fortunately, I’m now married to a wonderful guy that is an avid fan like me. In fact, I met him at a sporting event but that’s another story…

There are a few ways to approach an upset spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, etc. when you are trying to sell them on the idea of sports on the television.

The Teaching Method: Get them involved by teaching them the basics of the game. For March Madness, give them a bracket. For the NFL Super Bowl, give them the story behind each team. Whatever the event, whether a regular season game or final, make them feel as if you want them to take part. If you show them that you want them to enjoy it, they’ll likely try and it can be something you do as a couple.

The Nice Approach: Tell them that you’ll buy them that pair of shoes/piece of jewelry/tools/etc. if they’ll just let you watch the games in peace.

The Dealmaker: Agree to go shopping with them.

The Suffering Dealmaker: Agree to sit through “Atonement” or the new Sylvester Stallone flicks with them.

The Food Bribe: Take them out to dinner at their favorite restaurant and even order dessert! You could also cook a marvelous meal at home.

The Crybaby Act: Whine back, except louder

The Obnoxious Approach: Sit with them as they watch “Desperate Housewives” or “Grey’s Anatomy” and ask questions every 30 seconds. These questions should be about why a particular character said/did something. Continue by asking the overall meaning at every juncture and what the point of the whole thing is. Throw your arms up and exclaim, "It's just a stupid TV show!"

The “Deal With It” Method: Watch the games in spite of what they say and ignore the complaints.

The Rude Way: Insult them until they leave you alone so that you can watch the games.

The Really Rude Way: Invite your friends over to watch the game so that they’ll have to embarrass themselves if they want to throw a tantrum. This works best if you invite over 20 people.

The SBD Method: Eat lots of gassy foods so that you continually pass gas until you can hardly stand the smell.

The “No Manners” Method: Belch every answer to their incessant questions about the game.

The Easy Way: Camp out at a friend’s house until March is over and then return with expensive gifts. This also works for the NBA Finals and the World Cup. Of course, this is much easier for the NFL Super Bowl; you only have to disappear for that day.

I’m sure there are other ways to deal with this issue – both nice and mean. Let me know what your best remedy is! Whatever you decide to use, I wish you blissful viewing.

10 comments:

IveFoundit said...

You've got a great voice to your blogging style. I like the whiny method, but most are pretty funny in general.

Apryl DeLancey said...

Thanks for the compliments IveFoundIt! The whiny method is one of my favorites as well!

George said...

the teaching method is ideal, however many significant others already decide ahead of time theyre not gonna care, so it may be futile

George
http://sportstsar.com/

Apryl DeLancey said...

I'm afraid you're probably right George...

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I go with getting him involved by forcing him to play fantasy football ("but we need one more person to make it even!") or convincing them to fill out a bracket. Then it is fun for everyone.

Since my husband forgot to do his bracket in time I'm going to try the "no manners" method this year.

Apryl DeLancey said...

Aah, good one Sarah! I hadn't thought of that one. Good luck with this year! My bracket already stinks thanks to USC...grrrr......

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

WHy did I have Mason going to the Sweet 16?

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

WHy did I have Mason going to the Sweet 16?

Apryl DeLancey said...

The same reason I had USC going...and now I'm biting my nails over the UCONN vs SD - its in OT!

Apryl DeLancey said...

Oh - I just thought of another - fake the flu so they'll feel sorry for you and let you watch what you want!