Monday, February 21, 2011
Why A Marriage Works
My husband and I have a lot in common, obviously. I don't buy that whole business that opposites attract. Although we appear to be opposites on the surface, we are so alike it's not even funny. That's for another time - this post is about sports.
This morning I was going surfing with friends. Hubby was invited. He doesn't surf but he'll come with the hound and watch. Sometimes he even takes pictures. At the last minute this morning he told me that he was gonna stay home and I should just go. He wasn't being spiteful or smarty pants either.
I went. I met up with 2 guys and 1 girl. He knows I surf mostly with guys. He's cool with it.
No, I don't surf mostly with guys because I don't like to surf with girls. It just so happens that I go at times and to breaks where there are mostly guys in the water. Hubby knows I am out there to surf. He's seen me enough. I get out there and catch waves.
Among the guys I surf with it's perfectly acceptable to stop talking in mid-sentence and turn around to catch a wave. In fact, it's perfectly acceptable to not talk at all. I can't say the same for the girls I usually surf with (with one notable exception - you know who you are).
Now before you call me a traitor to women - take a deep breath. Most of the girls I know like to sit out there and act like a buoy while they chat. I'm not out there to float around. I'm out there to surf. You can come with me - heck - I'll even switch boards with you and chat a bit. However, I am out there to surf. If you're a surf chick and you want to go surfing with me just shoot me a note and you are invited.
During the week for dawn patrol my surf bud is a guy. Sometimes I just go alone. If I waited for someone to surf with me I would never go.
At any rate, hubby is cool with it.
He's now off to the range. I am not a huge fan of staying at the driving range for 3 or 4 hours. He is. I'm much happier playing 18. I can stand a range for about a small bucket - maybe a medium on a good day. I trust him to go work on his game. He's as focused on golf as I am on surfing. It totally works for us.
Why don't I go with? I do sometimes. We just don't like paying for dog daycare every day we want to go out (if you also had a bloodhound you'd understand).
Anyways, this is why a marriage works. We trust each other. We are both obsessed with our sport and understand each others need for their sport.
They might just have to change the definition for surf widow.